Love That Lays It All Down
"Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." - Colossians 3:19
When Paul wrote to husbands, he didn’t call them to dominance, control, or passivity. He called them to love. Not a surface-level love built on convenience or emotion, but a Christlike love that lays everything down. A love that sacrifices comfort, pride, and self-interest for the good of someone else.
Jesus didn’t love the church from a distance. He stepped into our mess. He served, listened, wept, forgave, protected, and ultimately gave up His life for us. That is the model Paul gives husbands. Love her like that. Lead her like that. Protect her like that.
There’s a reason Paul added “do not be harsh with them.” Because love has to show up not just in action, but in tone. Harshness isn’t strength. It’s often insecurity hiding behind volume. True strength is gentle, steady, and kind. A harsh man might win arguments, but will slowly lose connection. A loving man lays down his ego to create safety, not tension.
If you’re a husband, your job isn’t to demand submission. It’s to deserve trust. It’s to go first in humility, to lead through service, and to carry the weight of responsibility before God. When your wife sees Jesus in you, it makes it easier to trust the role God’s given you in the marriage.
And if you’re not married, don’t skip over this. This kind of love should mark every follower of Christ. We are called to love sacrificially. To lay down our lives, not just for our families, but for our neighbors, our churches, and the ones who are hardest to love.
This is what sets us apart. Not how loudly we speak, but how deeply we love. A love that looks like Jesus. A love that gives. A love that lays it all down.
When Paul wrote to husbands, he didn’t call them to dominance, control, or passivity. He called them to love. Not a surface-level love built on convenience or emotion, but a Christlike love that lays everything down. A love that sacrifices comfort, pride, and self-interest for the good of someone else.
Jesus didn’t love the church from a distance. He stepped into our mess. He served, listened, wept, forgave, protected, and ultimately gave up His life for us. That is the model Paul gives husbands. Love her like that. Lead her like that. Protect her like that.
There’s a reason Paul added “do not be harsh with them.” Because love has to show up not just in action, but in tone. Harshness isn’t strength. It’s often insecurity hiding behind volume. True strength is gentle, steady, and kind. A harsh man might win arguments, but will slowly lose connection. A loving man lays down his ego to create safety, not tension.
If you’re a husband, your job isn’t to demand submission. It’s to deserve trust. It’s to go first in humility, to lead through service, and to carry the weight of responsibility before God. When your wife sees Jesus in you, it makes it easier to trust the role God’s given you in the marriage.
And if you’re not married, don’t skip over this. This kind of love should mark every follower of Christ. We are called to love sacrificially. To lay down our lives, not just for our families, but for our neighbors, our churches, and the ones who are hardest to love.
This is what sets us apart. Not how loudly we speak, but how deeply we love. A love that looks like Jesus. A love that gives. A love that lays it all down.
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